I weighed this morning and I'm down to 259.4. I wish I could say it's because I'm working my but off and that I'm only eating rabbit food, but I can't. I've cut way down on what I've been eating, but I haven't changed my foods. I guess that's part of the secret. I can keep myself happy and eat the foods I love, only in moderation. I've got to be honest, after the week of stress that I had over the ECE program I thought that I would have gained five pounds. I lost all since of discipline and I went into one of my "don't want to" and "don't care" moods. But I honestly think that God saw what I needed and He gave it to me. For those of you that know me, you know that's not a comment I would normally make. I know that I need to make more changes in my life besides my weight, and I think I can do it.
1Peter 3:4
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
Right now I'm reading a book by Steve Harvey called "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". The book's main focus is on relationships but he actually makes some really good points along the lines of respecting yourself and on self concept.
His number one rule is "Protect the cookie". In order to get and keep a respectable man a woman should always protect her cookie. It is ultimately our decision as to what will and will not happen in a relationship and we should demand that it be so. Too many women are willing to take the backseat while their man makes all of the decisions (such as where to go, what to do, and when he gets the cookie). Don't get me wrong, I am horrible at decision making so sometimes I prefer that Timothy make all of them. But if he decides on something that I really don't want to do, I let him know and we choose another thing to do. By protecting your cookie, you are letting your man know that you demand respect from him. A man will not respect a woman who immediately gives up the cookie. Get his respect, get his love, get a ring, get a dress, get married, and then give up the cookie.
The cookie bit had me rolling in the floor, but one of his quotes really stuck with me. He says, "...all of you possess a great beauty all your own, and only Halle can look like Halle, and only Beyonce can look like Beyonce". This was a light bulb moment for me. When I read it I thought, duh! Why didn't I ever think of that? Women as a whole generally have a low self concept. We look in the mirror and our minds automatically add 20 pounds of nonexistent fat whereas a man can look in the mirror and add 20 pounds of nonexistent muscle and sculptedness. What's up with that?
The average woman in America wears a size 14. All of the magazine adds, the commercials, the movies, even the book covers--where are the big girls? Where are those size 14 women? And I would LOVE to know why the largest size pants I found today in Sears, Dillard's, J.C. Penney's, Belk, and Old Navy were a size 18. The "plus sizes" can only be ordered online. What the heck? And don't even get me started on Victoria's Secret panties. I love panties. Ever since I met Whitney, I've loved to go panty shopping. And I say that in the straightest way possible. While I was in Bath and Body Works, deciding what kind of cookies I would like to drown my sorrows in, the sales girl told me about Lane Bryant. I went in, and I almost cried. They had my size (which shall remain numberless at this point in time) in every single thing there! For the first time in YEARS I was excited to try on clothes and to look at myself in the mirror. I got a pair of pants, three shirts, two bras, and eight pairs of panties. So there, Victoria's Secret!
The whole point of this completely random blog was that I learned something today. I learned that I shouldn't compare myself to the models in my magazines and to the actresses on my favorite shows. I'm loud, I'm fun, I'm smart, and I'm a tad bit crazy. I'm also wonderfully made. My body will never fit my idea of perfection because I'm not made to be what is considered perfect. However, I need to fix myself so that I can be healthy. And I'd like to wear a bikini. It is most definitely a lot easier to tell you about my epiphany over Steve's quote than to actually 100% believe it, but I'm working on it.
Today's weight: 264.7
His number one rule is "Protect the cookie". In order to get and keep a respectable man a woman should always protect her cookie. It is ultimately our decision as to what will and will not happen in a relationship and we should demand that it be so. Too many women are willing to take the backseat while their man makes all of the decisions (such as where to go, what to do, and when he gets the cookie). Don't get me wrong, I am horrible at decision making so sometimes I prefer that Timothy make all of them. But if he decides on something that I really don't want to do, I let him know and we choose another thing to do. By protecting your cookie, you are letting your man know that you demand respect from him. A man will not respect a woman who immediately gives up the cookie. Get his respect, get his love, get a ring, get a dress, get married, and then give up the cookie.
The cookie bit had me rolling in the floor, but one of his quotes really stuck with me. He says, "...all of you possess a great beauty all your own, and only Halle can look like Halle, and only Beyonce can look like Beyonce". This was a light bulb moment for me. When I read it I thought, duh! Why didn't I ever think of that? Women as a whole generally have a low self concept. We look in the mirror and our minds automatically add 20 pounds of nonexistent fat whereas a man can look in the mirror and add 20 pounds of nonexistent muscle and sculptedness. What's up with that?
The average woman in America wears a size 14. All of the magazine adds, the commercials, the movies, even the book covers--where are the big girls? Where are those size 14 women? And I would LOVE to know why the largest size pants I found today in Sears, Dillard's, J.C. Penney's, Belk, and Old Navy were a size 18. The "plus sizes" can only be ordered online. What the heck? And don't even get me started on Victoria's Secret panties. I love panties. Ever since I met Whitney, I've loved to go panty shopping. And I say that in the straightest way possible. While I was in Bath and Body Works, deciding what kind of cookies I would like to drown my sorrows in, the sales girl told me about Lane Bryant. I went in, and I almost cried. They had my size (which shall remain numberless at this point in time) in every single thing there! For the first time in YEARS I was excited to try on clothes and to look at myself in the mirror. I got a pair of pants, three shirts, two bras, and eight pairs of panties. So there, Victoria's Secret!
The whole point of this completely random blog was that I learned something today. I learned that I shouldn't compare myself to the models in my magazines and to the actresses on my favorite shows. I'm loud, I'm fun, I'm smart, and I'm a tad bit crazy. I'm also wonderfully made. My body will never fit my idea of perfection because I'm not made to be what is considered perfect. However, I need to fix myself so that I can be healthy. And I'd like to wear a bikini. It is most definitely a lot easier to tell you about my epiphany over Steve's quote than to actually 100% believe it, but I'm working on it.
Today's weight: 264.7
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Binge
I really should be studying for my RSED test, but I can't concentrate. Today has been the absolute WORST day I've had in a while. I should start at the beginning of this story so that you won't get confused.
When I came to Auburn I was a declared Secondary English Education major. Halfway through the semester I decided that I would rather be a kindergarten teacher and when I told my advisor this, she told me not to go to the rest of my classes and to not worry about taking my finals. Yeah...that's what I did and my GPA was a 0.00. I have struggled to bring up my GPA for over a year, and it's happening, but not nearly fast enough. I was guaranteed a spot in the Early Childhood Education program for Spring of 2010, which meant that I would graduate in December of 2010. This morning I get an email from my advisor telling me that in order to get in the program, I would have to sit out a semester. Sitting out a semester not only throws me into paying Sallie Mae, it also means I won't graduate until May 2011. Six years to get a four year degree. My cousin, who is four days older than me will have a Bachelor's and a Master's before I graduate.
So I ate country fried steak with mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, some donut holes, a caramel and chocolate drizzeled donut, and a chocolate donut with chocolate filling. And some sweet tea. Let's block out the frustration and the stress and the pain with food. In high school I refused to eat when I was feeling this way, and now I binge. I feel sick and guilty, which only adds on more stress. It's like Fat Bastard on Austin Powers: "I eat because I'm upset, and I'm upset because I eat." It's a vicious cycle. I'm just tired of running out of breath from simply walking to the kitchen for a bottle of water and back to the couch. It's 25 feet, max, and it leaves me breathless.
How do I change what I am? How can I stop my stress eating? How can I put my life together? It just seems like it would be so much easier to just do what I want and eat what I want.
Today's weight: 265.0
When I came to Auburn I was a declared Secondary English Education major. Halfway through the semester I decided that I would rather be a kindergarten teacher and when I told my advisor this, she told me not to go to the rest of my classes and to not worry about taking my finals. Yeah...that's what I did and my GPA was a 0.00. I have struggled to bring up my GPA for over a year, and it's happening, but not nearly fast enough. I was guaranteed a spot in the Early Childhood Education program for Spring of 2010, which meant that I would graduate in December of 2010. This morning I get an email from my advisor telling me that in order to get in the program, I would have to sit out a semester. Sitting out a semester not only throws me into paying Sallie Mae, it also means I won't graduate until May 2011. Six years to get a four year degree. My cousin, who is four days older than me will have a Bachelor's and a Master's before I graduate.
So I ate country fried steak with mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, some donut holes, a caramel and chocolate drizzeled donut, and a chocolate donut with chocolate filling. And some sweet tea. Let's block out the frustration and the stress and the pain with food. In high school I refused to eat when I was feeling this way, and now I binge. I feel sick and guilty, which only adds on more stress. It's like Fat Bastard on Austin Powers: "I eat because I'm upset, and I'm upset because I eat." It's a vicious cycle. I'm just tired of running out of breath from simply walking to the kitchen for a bottle of water and back to the couch. It's 25 feet, max, and it leaves me breathless.
How do I change what I am? How can I stop my stress eating? How can I put my life together? It just seems like it would be so much easier to just do what I want and eat what I want.
Today's weight: 265.0
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
